When Do You Tell Someone You Have an Illness?

When you have a chronic illness, when do you tell someone new in your life about it? Well, there is no one answer fits all for this question. I think a good rule to follow is, tell them when they need to know.

For instance, if you just started a new job. You do not need to disclose you have a chronic illness/disability during the job interview process and no employer is allowed to ask you. I would also highly recommend that you don’t bring it up in an interview because it’s not relevant. However, after you have started and you feel comfortable you might want to let someone know and what that means for them. With Crohn’s Disease, I was always letting new supervisors/managers know that I might need to run to the bathroom in a moment’s notice. As time goes on and I felt more comfortable I would tell them more about how Crohn’s Disease effects my life.

What about in personal relationships? Same thing. With new friends, it eventually comes up and I divulge what I want when I want. Again, same thing with more intimate relationships. I’ve told guys on the first date and then with some I never even brought it up before everything fizzled.

I met my fiance on Tinder (seriously) and we talked about two weeks before actually meeting. Before we met face to face we started following each other on Instagram and when I told him my handle I said, “You’re going to learn a lot about me.” I don’t know what he was expecting, but he wasn’t scared off.

Not everyone puts it all out there like I do. I remember one Tinder guy’s reaction to my Instagram, “Uhh . . I don’t think we are on the same page.” Boy, bye.

This is really something you need to do when you feel comfortable enough to discuss it. That’s not easy for everyone and I get it, but trust me you might be underestimating how supportive people can be.