When you are going through something difficult, that moment (or moments) is the worse it could be. Whether it’s being in the hospital, having a difficult day at work, money problems, relationship issues, stop telling me it could be worse. For me in that moment, it can’t get any worse. It sounds like you are brushing off my problem and it means nothing to you. My mom used to tell me this when I was in the hospital and I hated it hearing it, I still do. When I was in the hospital, she would remind me of the kids down the hall in the cancer ward. Yes, what they were going through was unimaginable, but it felt like I couldn’t be upset about my own problems.
I get it, we don’t always know what to say when we are comforting a friend or family member. I too have felt helpless and not sure what to say when someone I love is going through a difficult time, but I’ve learned from my own experiences.
Here are some tips:
- Check in with this person, let them vent. Tell them that their life does suck, acknowledge the shitty situation they are in, it’s OK.
- Let them be angry/upset. When I’m upset, I don’t want to be cheered up. Get angry with me! These emotions are meant to be felt and bottling them up doesn’t help.
- Know what your friend/family member likes, for instance, you can send them funny memes or YouTube videos to distract them. Everyone is different, maybe they enjoy celebrity gossip or political discussion.
Could it be worse? Yes, it can always be worse. It’s just not something anyone wants to hear or needs to hear.